Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Save The Drama For Your Mama….Oh Wait, That’s Me

I am lazy. I sometimes worry that it’s not a natural lazy. Perhaps I have developed some sort of chronic lazyitis. I would rather sit around and watch paint dry than go on a hike. I would rather take out than eat in. I was all sorts of proud when my daughter started understanding more and could bring me things I asked for….just so I didn’t have to get up and get them myself.

Now I don’t want you to get the wrong idea…I’m not the 400 lb Mommy you see on Maury that sits around at home all day in her pastel flowered muu muu and has her 2 year old shovel Cheetos in her mouth while she cries-WHY LORD? WHY HAVE YOU BROUGHT THIS BLIGHT OF FAT UPON ME?!? Then chugs a chocolate malt.
No no no.
While I do enjoy Cheetos, in actuality I am a size 2, relatively buff Mommy that has the occasional play date, outing, adventure, but when given the chance of doing something or nothing-I would really rather do nothing.

I stare in awe of other mommies who have the get up and go to plan their days down to a tee. Have schedules for the schedules of their 6 month olds. Have family outings and adventures planned out for the next 18 years. Heck, I was impressed by the women who had the stamina to write up one of them there fancy “birth plans.” Turning on Microsoft Word and typing out what I wanted just seemed like so much effort.

It’s fine and all if I want to sit here and make sure my couch develops a nice and defined butt print, but what am I doing to the Little Lady? When I start going on my neurotic rants about how I am an ill fit mother because Thursday’s big activity is toe nail polish painting (I have a rainbow of colors so we can do a different one on each toe) my husband tells me how wonderful I am. How great the fruit of our looms is turning out. That she is excelling in school. Has a ton of friends. Is brilliant and beautiful. And ultimately how you can’t have Mommy and Lazy in the same sentence.

I guess he’s right. The amount of cleaning I do alone now classifies as a hard core cardio workout. Our days might not be spent “letterboxing” or going on the next great family adventure-but we do have fun. We laugh a lot. We paint pretty pictures for Daddy’s office. She teaches me the songs she learns in school. We ride around the house on the dog (the cat was not as into it). And of course there is the not fun that keeps me occupied. Gotta love the Nap Wars or the No, Child-you can NOT have candy corn for lunch (again) Battle.

I am the Mommy. There is no back up. Nobody else to pass her on to if I am tired, or sick, or want to watch Oprah. It’s hard work. My job may use the words “Stay at home” but my job is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can’t take that away from me or any other mommy. When your child feels loved and needed you are doing a great job. So props to all mommies-over planned or under planned. Even to the Maury Mommy.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

hm. you defnitely think you are maHOTma mama. hope you didn't get stretchmarks when pg...

Ima Shalom said...

Take it from me...Mahtoma Mama is damn sexy...and really cool! And no, she has no stretch marks, lucky duck.

Mahotma Mama said...

I think you missed the point of the article-but I'm sorry if self esteem upsets you anonymous. Just because you have a child doesn't mean you have to feel yucky about you, or let yourself go. If you are having issues I'd be happy to suggest some great child involved work outs. Make you feel like a MaHOTma Mama!

Ima Shalom said...

Also, anonymous (if that's your real name...), I hope you're not implying that stretch marks make a woman unsexy. Most mothers have them, and consider them a small price to pay for their beautiful children.

Anonymous said...

It's funny how Anonymous got so upset by this post. She must be the 400 pound Maury type of mom... Enjoy your twinkies, Anonymous!

mother in israel said...

Let's hear it for lazy moms!

therapydoc said...

It's one of those, to every season, turn, turn things. Just cuz you're not moving so fast now doesn't mean you're doomed to atrophy.

Anyway. Don't kids like knowing where their parents are?

Anonymous said...

Mahotma Mama, I love reading your posts. You're down to earth and funny-- and I bet a pretty fantastic mom. Your daughter probably appreciates having a mother who spends more time relaxing with her and having fun than pouring over a schedule!
You SHOULD feel like maHOTma mama--self-confidence is the greatest thing to give your kids!

Gluckel of Manhattan said...

Mahotma Mama, you are NOT lazy, and you are right on. A few years ago, I told my mother's brother that I thought my mother was lazy. Wow. He reamed me out and made me list the ways I was wrong. And boy, was I wrong... It is true, laziness and motherhood can't exist side by side.

Maya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maya said...

Oh, gosh. I just knew we were going to be found out one day, but I have to tell you, dear readers, a secret. All of us here at Ima Shalom are simply drop-dead gorgeous. In fact, we weren’t sure at first if we should let Mahotma join us, since, at size 2, she’s a little plump (to be fair, we thought at first she’d said minus two—Mahotma, you little sneak, you. Anyway, Mahotma is only saying what we would all say if we could—I can’t, since, as a single mother, it would just make me look slutty. And the others can’t because, in between motherhood, fashion shoots and cooking for Shabbat, well, who has time? I'm glad she's able to get off her lazy ass once in a while to write this blog.