Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I Hate Children…Just Not Mine

A little boy bit my daughter. A little boy bit my daughter at school in front of her teachers. A little boy bit my daughter at school in front of her teachers, so hard that his teeth went through her clothing and onto her skin.

She’s fine. The teachers cleaned it up with some antibacterial wash and soothed her. He didn’t break her skin, just scraped it a little so that saved a lot of worry. They called the mother of the little boy and let me know. It was not the worst thing that could happen. She’s fine. The mother has called me about 100 times to apologize. And my daughter is still loving school. And I still love that she goes.

But this incident was the first time I got worried. Not that she’s going to get hurt-people get hurt. It happens. I understand. But this was the first time I was worried about what she would learn at school….and not from her teachers.

My daughter went into school perfect and untouched by anyone but me. I was her greatest influence, I was her greatest playmate, I was her whole life. She had friends and visits and cousins that she played with but I was usually there. She is still perfect…but now less untouched and more bitten. I don’t want her to learn badness from these other children. These children that obviously aren’t perfect (because clearly only my child is) and they are getting their yucky unperfect cooties all over her.

I know it’s stupid. Clearly this is a control thing and I am the Queen of the Freaks (I designed my crown myself). If I could step away from myself for a minute I know I would see how school can only be a great thing for her, for both of us. But I think my issue is that I don’t want to let go.

Now I don’t think a toddler program nine hours a week is really letting go. But it’s that first step toward Independent Land. The first chance for her to be influenced by others. If I think too hard about it I think maybe I’m scared because it’s the first time I am truly being tested as a mother. When she was just with me, I just had to worry about me. Now I have to worry about EVERYONE. I have to make sure the values and behaviors that I have instilled in her up to this point remain strong in her. I have to teach her right from wrong-now that she actually knows what a REAL wrong is. Seems as though I’ll get to enjoy my rein as Queen Freak a little longer….at least until the Empress of my universe hits puberty.


Anonymous said...

Give me the name and address of that little boy who bit her, and I'll take care of him.


Anonymous said...

Mahotma Mama is the most wonderful mommy ever - Mahotma for mommy of the year!

It's no wonder her offspring is so wonderful - and apparently sweet too. Someone needs to give that other boy something to eat!

Gluckel of Manhattan said...

I am appointing myself your Freak Lady in Waiting. Can I have a crown too?

Let's make a shidduch with our son has just started nursery school 9 hours a week as well and is being tainted every, every day. He now says, "What? What?" every time I ask him to do something he doesn't want to do, pretending he is quite deaf. Picked it up in school.

And a nasty cold as well, but that's for another time.

Maya said...

I'm planning to keep my nanny share until my daughter is about 16 or so. I can't even bear cookie minyan at shul (though it's run by a talented woman and attended by great, dedicated parents). Of course that's because I personally don't enjoy being with groups of children with their strill little voices and snotty noses and hacking coughs. I don't like them stepping on my child, drinking from her sippy cup and stealing her pacifier. Not that I think other parents look forward all week to it...I'm probably just not as nice as they are.

Anonymous said...

if you think about it when you were little you probly bit someone, you might not of meant to but that is how children are. You shouldn't make things like that as you child might see this and look st it then act like she wants to kill you. think about it.
i have a point