Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Escape from Momcatraz

I've been making a slow and steady effort--over the last 4 months or so--to regain the me behind the mom.

It all started when--still months away from finishing nursing--I went and bought a real bra. Instantly my spirits were...ahem...lifted, as I started to hate looking in the mirror a bit less.

Next was the Baby Weight, which frankly should be more accurately called Brownie Weight. 4 months later and twenty pounds lighter, I am finally starting to wear some of my pre-Chamudi clothing and to once again shop for things that show my figure.

The final pieces of the puzzle...two weeks ago I spent a princely sum at Sephora on a 3 minute makeup routine and dusted off the old blow dyer...and used it.

This is a familiar cycle for me...ever since I learned how to use makeup I have gone through low maintenance phases (think flannel and denim) and periods of extreme feminine goofiness.

This time, though, I'm trying to adopt things that are easy enough to keep doing indefinitely, toddler and all. Clothes that are low maintenance (think no handwashing), makeup that can be done quickly, eating habits that can be sustained even under extreme mom-fatigue.

So far, so good. I'm not saying that I actually get out of my jammies and shower every day, but nowadays I am making more and more of an effort to make myself look like a person, even if it's just for a walk to Starbucks.

The best part..and the worst part...is when people notice. The positive reinforcement is great, of course, but implicit in the compliments "you lost weight" or "you look so nice in makeup" is that you were overweight and looked washed out before. But I digress...

Why am I doing it? Who knows. Perhaps taking the time to make myself look pretty and feel a little feminine is my way of warding off self-neglect--both physical and spiritual--that often comes with being an Ima. You get so used to the Chamudis being in the spotlight that you forget that you used to shine pretty brightly yourself.

So here I am, reassessing my wardrobe, thinking about all these frilly little things. Not so much because I care deeply about them, really, but because I still care about me.

Happy New Year from Imashalom!

1 comment:

Joyous Jewess said...

I can totally relate. I was actually thinking about blogging about something similar. After a year of living mostly in what I've come to think of as "spit-up clothes" I've been buying a lot of new things lately -- and feeling guilty about it, of course -- because I just need to have some things that look nice and fit my post-baby body (which unfortunately, even with weight loss, is not returning to its pre-baby shape and probably never will). I also no longer buy things that need to be handwashed or dry cleaned, but it's nice to own some stuff that isn't stained and totally stretched out! I haven't gotten out the hair dryer yet, but I've thought about it, which is the first step! Anyway, mazel tov on your return to yourself. I think it is so important for Imas to find ways -- frivolous and not -- to take time for ourselves and honor our self-worth.