Naked

Well a small miracle has happened this December. I finished reading a book, it’s been about 2 years since I could say that. It took some time-I started it on the plane ride home from my vacation and only had a chapter left before real life took over again.

That one chapter took me about 3 weeks to read.

It was worth the wait.

The chapter was entitled “Naked” in David Sedaris’ Naked. The book as a whole was ok. Not particularly memorable or had me “rolling on the floor” as the New York Times promised I would. It didn’t make me feel smart or engaged. It was supposed to be light and fluffy airplane reading and it did its job.

But this last chapter was quite good because it made me think outside the book. Funny because I could envision everything he described perfectly. Crazy because I was picturing myself in the same situation. I most enjoyed it though because I thought there was a valuable life lesson in there.


I now think everyone should go spend some quality time in a nudist colony.

Not just because I think we would all be better about using sun block if we experienced sunburn in weird places- but because even a description of time spent in a nudist colony made me feel better about me. Some of the tushies Mr. Sedaris describes clearly could NOT have been mine. And while I’m not promoting nudity as a way of life, it has to be good to see that you aren’t the only ass in town that doesn’t look just like Cindy Crawford….even after she had 2 kids….and turned 40.

I think a lot about naked not just because I’m kinky but because I have a little girl and I know she isn’t going to make it another 2 years without worrying about the way she looks. She is growing up in a vain household where even Mahotma Papa plucks the occasional eyebrow. She learned to put on makeup by 6 months because she would watch me as I applied it daily…to get the mail. She hears me complain if my jeans don’t fit just right and sees me walking around with all sorts of weird potions on my face to prevent wrinkles.

And then there is the whole entire universe outside my front door that is self obsessed…and not in that good way. Anorexia should not be something that is now common in junior high. And elementary school is so not the place where I should hear “Do I look fat in this?”

To me she is beautiful everyday no matter what. To me she is perfect. Inside and out.

I can and will tell her that everyday for the rest of my life, but my word isn’t good enough. She has to think that too. And as much as I’d like to think it’s really only the inside that counts ,we all know it’s not. She just has to turn on the tv or pick up a People to learn there is much more that matters. And it doesn’t help things that the rest of us are covered in clothes, so wouldn’t it be great if we could all just spend a week checking out other people’s butts?

It would be wonderful if in our real world we got to experience a little real now and again. So I say, Nude City here I come!