Monday, May 05, 2008

personality change?

My one-year old was a dream baby. So calm. So cheerful. So even-tempered. What a relief this was to me given how challenging my first child was. I really needed it.

For the past few months (and I say this with some guilt as she is currently happily playing by herself while I type this post!) she has been so much moodier!

The doctor says that these little ones change all the time and that even the calmest babies can become difficult 1 year olds.

But it definitely bums me out.

I find that my tolerance for her whining and crying and screaming is lower than normal for me - perhaps because my expectations are so high.

I know this isn't fair.

She has just as much right as anyone to be frustrated at not being able to communicate, walk, and do most things that people do. And I know that she will work through it and that we will help her work through it.

I find that at this stage in parenting, so much of it is about how easy or difficult the child is. I'm not sure how to get past that.

I wish I could figure out a way to lower my expectations and just deal with each incident in the moment.

More importantly, I know I need to see her fully as an individual - and not as my easy second child.


Ima Shalom said...

She's about 15 months, right? That was a hard age round here too. Needy and tantrumy, etc. I think a lot of things improve as they gain more words--or at least the super-fun wow he's really becoming a person in his own right moments start to overshadow the other, more unpleasant ones.

Maya said...

Mine's 16 months--same thing. I think it's the walking that gives her a sense of independence and makes her chafe against her limitations. Her tantrums come when she can't physically manipulate something as she'd like, or when it's time to leave the park. (Fortunately, she's no longer slamming her hands on the toilet seat, so that's helped). But her burgeoning language skills give her lots to laugh about, so it's a trade off.