Ode To My Maternity Jeans

Your slimming flare,
Your shaded knees,
With 95% spandex,
I can slide in with ease.

To find your perfection,
Decisions I had to make.
From wash to fit to cost-
You’re jeans for goodness sake!

Then there’s the panel,
The strip of sacred drape.
Full, demi or… magic?
Do I need a hat and cape?

And my petite length,
Such a challenge to find.
But you were worth the effort
Just look at my behind!

Maternity clothes are a joke
All flowers and random bows
Does fashion not matter
If you can’t see your toes?

Shirts that billow, dresses that tent,
From the side I could be a globe.
Yet you are what is normal
In my weeble’s wardrobe.

I dress my little daughter
Jealous of her tiny rear.
I long for the array,
Of what I used to wear.

It is a stressful time,
When everything is tight.
My socks, my rings, my lungs,
Yet you fit me just right.

I feel no glow upon my face,
Feeling pretty is just a bash,
With my body out of control
And quite the mysterious rash.


So I love you jeans,
In you I feel sexy and fit.
Feelings hard to come by
When hormones make me feel like…spit.