Wednesday, April 30, 2008


What are you scared of?
Everybody is scared of something.
The dark? Spiders? Commitment?

It’s totally normal to have a phobia. My sister had to move out of her apartment for 2 months when she found a mouse in her bathroom. Nobody thought that was odd. Nope. Tons of people are scared of mice.

But me? I am good with mice. They are cute little Mickies and Minnies to me. Spiders are icky but I don’t mind if I see one climbing on the wall. I only can sleep if it’s dark and I have been in a wonderful committed relationship for 11 ½ years- and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

But I am a normal human being and I am afraid of something. Driving. Yeah, the thing that teenagers count the days until their 16th birthday for? That’s what scares the bejesus out of me. Yup yup yup. Leave it to me to have the crazy lady fear.

And no, it’s not because I lack the confidence.
And no, it’s not because I am just manipulating the people around me.
And no, it’s not because I just “need more practice.”

It is a fear. Like alligators or heights or airplane rides. It’s just more unusual and hampering and annoying and easier for other people to make fun of. But that doesn’t make it less scary for me.

And while it is a pain in the patootey I have great friends and a fantabulous husband who understand and help out. But when Princess Perfection came along not driving was not an option. You have to drive when you have a child. To school, to parks, to play dates, to haircuts, the doctor-the list goes on and on.

But I still hate it. I get woozy behind the wheel. I get shaky going over 40. I get pale when cars get too close and I won’t even start on what happens to me when I try and park.

But then there was last week.

Last week I got thwacked with the whole reason I’m a big freak show of fear behind the wheel.

No, I actually got thwacked.

It was at 5 miles an hour. It was not my fault, and the lady who hit me had a nervous breakdown because she felt so bad. And when she found out I was 20 weeks pregnant-well that was the best look of guilt I have ever seen. And even though I had to be pulled free, I’m fine. My poor Honda is not looking so glamorous and will apparently be ready in 2 weeks….of course I don’t know which 2 weeks. And as of tomorrow there are odds I could be driving around in a glamorous rental PT Cruiser.

I was really upset when it happened. And when a certain in-laws who shall remain nameless first heard about the accident, instead of saying “Oh dear! I hope she is ok!” said “Oh dear! I hope she isn’t going to be scared to drive again!” I was bothered.

But they had a point. If you are scared of snakes and go for a hike and fall in a pit of snakes it might be a while before you go on a hike again.

But you know, it was scary. And I am going to get a little extra queasy when I drive by that part of town. But now that I have no car and had to get chauffeured to the grocery for milk I don’t hate driving less… but I do appreciate it more.

I do my darndest to ensure that my Mini Me is as afraid of as few things as possible (except dating) and is able to go on roller coasters and drive on the highway and watch Bubba (her future pet mouse) roll around the house in his mousey ball. And I am not so insane to want the same for me. A happy healthy balance of things I should be afraid of (like wild tigers) and things that I shouldn’t be afraid of (like Tony the Tiger-mmmmmmmfrostedflakes).

The grey area is that there are those things that you probably SHOULD be afraid of, like driving (big boxes of metal moving at lightening speed? SCARY)…but can’t let overtake you. So I will push through. Appreciate that I am ok. Appreciate that I am a careful driver. And appreciate that at some point after some 2 weeks I can stop driving the PT Pimpmobile and be back behind the wheel of my car.


Anonymous said...

Since I just suffered a similar ordeal, we will "re-learn" to drive together. And find decent looking, decent cool-ness rental cars. Ford Focus anyone?

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're ok! But I have to agree with your sister...mice are TERRIFYING!

Ima Shalom said...

Let me just say that I am every day so incredibly proud of all the driving you do!!

Maya said...

We should all be afraid of driving--it makes our pretty world sick, strangles lovely cities. And hungry car food makes people kill other people, destroys their houses and places orphans on the streets. I've not owned a car in years.