Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Davening as Modeling

Somehow I have gotten out of the rhythm of davening.

Every morning my husband puts on tefillin and davens with my kids. My daughter loves to chew on the leather and my son holds the empty boxes and opens his own siddur. It is a wonderful way to start the morning.

Why do I leave myself out of it day after day?

Mornings are tough for me. I am always tired and a little out of it. And I am always rushing. I romanticize the idea of rising with the son, drinking a cup of coffee, playing with my kids, and having time to really daven. And each morning, it doesn't happen.

As I think about how to get myself out of this rut, I wonder, should I daven in the privacy of my bedroom while my husband is downstairs playing with the kids, or should I make a point to daven downstairs, so that they can see me - thus sending the message that davening is important to Mommy, too?

And here I get to the heart of the issue.

Lately, I find that my spirituality is utterly connected to my children and their education. Everything is about helping get a certain religious experience - singing zmirot, preparations for shabbat, giving tsedakah, etc. I am constantly "modeling."

Something is telling me that I could use a break from all that modeling and that davening by myself might be the just what I need right now.

Now if I only I could get started!

2 comments:

Maya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maya said...

I didn't mean to delete, just edit!
Just this morning my daughter was entertaining herself before we got out of bed and I thought, "this would be a great time to daven." Then four minutes later the moment was over. I'd vote for letting your husband model this one, and you just do your thing. The kids will figure out what you're doing in time.