Boobs, Honkers and Gazungas

I offended someone the other day because I call my boobs, boobs. I think she would have preferred if I called them “breasts.” I can’t call them breasts- that’s what I get at the butcher for shabbos. But I tend to avoid calling private body parts by their actual names. And as my daughter gets more and more familiar with things I have found myself teaching her all the words that I call things -which is not quite up to par with Grey’s Anatomy (the book, not the TV show-but if Patrick Dempsey asked me to call them “breasts” I would consider it).

I got into this discussion with a mommy at Tot Time who was having the same dilemma. She said she didn’t mind teaching her toddler the word “vagina” but she didn’t want to go into too much detail about the “down there area” because her daughter was beginning potty training and she didn’t want to lie to her and tell her the urine was coming out of her “vagina” when it was in fact coming out of her “urethra.”

First of all, I was very proud of myself that I didn’t giggle when she said vagina out loud in the library. Second of all, I didn’t know that pee came out of our urethra. Fascinating. Third of all, I told her I call a woman’s lady parts her “china” and we have pee pees that come out of the china. I can’t say the word vagina to my gynecologist let alone my 2 year old. Golly gosh. What does she think I am? A grown up?

But am I going to do damage by teaching her pinkles (she doesn’t get to call them boobs yet), china and tushy instead of breasts, vagina and buttocks? I can’t imagine I would. But I also think it’s my job to get her out there. Let her know what’s up. Of course I did ok and I had pinkles until I was 17….then they changed to boobs. I know she’ll figure it all out eventually and that has to be better than hearing her mother say bowel movement, anus or urethra. *shudder*

So maybe I’m not growing up all the way and maybe I’m enabling her to hold onto a little immaturity. She has enough serious things to worry about as she grows up. Right now, thank God her body parts are ok and she’s healthy. And you know, God doesn’t care what we call pinkles as long as you appreciate that you have them. But if she starts calling them titties she is so getting grounded.