Gluckel the Newbie

I’m not totally sure what to do with this blog. Thrilled, of course, to have a chance to write it, but given that I’m a newbie, I don’t really know what to do. Of course, that is just like motherhood. I spent nine months worrying, and for some reason, thought that was the hard part. Then my son was born. That wasn’t the hard part (it was actually not so bad). Parenthood is the hard part.

I cannot figure out why my 2 and a half year old prefers watermelon over cookies, nor why he prefers not to have his diaper changed even when verging on an explosion. I cannot for the life of me understand why he can talk endlessly and in full sentences on his fake cellphone, but refuses to talk to his grandparents on the real cellphone. I cannot understand why on earth my two year old can recite the blessing “al netilat yadayim” (over handwashing) on his own but won’t sing along with the Shema with me before bedtime. I don’t understand how I became so grouchy and how come I never seem to get anything done, and where did the chin hairs come from?

I’m a newbie. I don’t know what to do. But I’m not going to know any more the next time. Let’s all embrace our inner newbies and know that with each passing day we get a little better at this job called motherhood.

I do this Jewish thing professionally, so you’re definitely going to hear about some of the ups and downs of being a Jewish professional mother here. Not a professional Jewish mother (that sounds profoundly negative, like I get paid for kvetching). I often wonder why the Jewish community treats the mothers (and parents in general) in its employ with such disdain, and it’s a big issue for me, so you’ll probably hear about that too. I'm also about to go through the hell fire and brimstorm that is the beginning of nursery school, and I can guarantee that you'll be hearing about that too.

As for my moniker, read my bio and you’ll learn more about Gluckel (and then Google her and learn more, as I was only alloted 1200 characters to describe this incredible woman). She was a very cool chick, and all of us can use someone to emulate. Twelve children. Twelve. Think about that. That is twelve day school tuitions, don't forget summer camp and Israel trips, twelve college educations, and we would expect that at least ¾ of them would go on to grad school (for at least one degree).

Right now, I only have child, and I’m having a hard enough time keeping it together.