T Minus 24 Hours

• Have baby with sacred male genitalia-check

• Date and time-check

• Location-check

• Oddly worded “Let’s Try and Not Make the Jews Look Too Insane” invite to non-Jewish friends and coworkers -check

• Caterer- check

• Figuring out how many people will actually wake up at the butt crack of dawn to attend so we can figure out how much lox and bagels to procure from said caterer-check

• Gentle letting down of local caterer/grandmother to the Princess’ friend from school, but she really had much higher prices than the other guy -check

• Hearing crazy "Woopsy, The Clamp Slipped" and "He Had to Go Get Plastic Surgery On That Thing 18 years Later" horror stories from a randomly high number of people-check

• Mohel travel arrangements made-check

• Decision on which cutting method should be used-don’t know, don’t wanna know, so we’ll hope that Mahotma Daddy figured that one out on his own, check

• Obligatory argument over whose father should get to hold the child during the snipping process-check

• Other Random Honorees selected-check

• Figuring out how to explain what the heck is going on to Princess Peanut-no check
  

• Using every friend for their hotel/ airport shuttling services who we will owe favors for the next 10 years- check

• Name selected-no check

• Perfect outfit in a size -4 weeks old- no check

• Perfect outfit that is sure to receive at least one required “I can’t believe you just had a baby 2 weeks ago!” compliment-check

• Purchase of industrial strength Spanx to fit in “I can’t believe you just had a baby 2 weeks ago!” outfit-check

• Colors, theme, sick amount of money spent on balloons and paper tablecloths-check

• Event planner hired to avoid nervous breakdown-check

• Putting up of yellow caution tape to ensure that I never have to do this again-check. check. check.