Monday, February 02, 2009

To Facebook or not to Facebook, that is the question...

I am a social being.
I love shmoozing (my husband complains that he can't ever get me out of shul - at least on the Shabbatot when I actually make it there).
I love big Shabbat meals, parties, reunions, all of that stuff.

I also love knowing what people are up to. Whenever I see a friend, I need to know not only how they are, but how anyone we know in common is doing. I love people information (not necessarily gossip, but some might classify it as such). I want to hear that the people I love, or once loved, or like, or maybe even just peripherally know, are doing well. I want to know where they live, if they are married, kids, work, EVERYTHING.

So "why?", one might ask, "why have you not joined Facebook?".

Well, there are a couple of reasons,
  1. I am afraid that people won't friend me. Close friends say that's ridiculous, but I still fear not being friended. I remember almost everyone I have ever met- from grade school, through Israel trips and college. What if they all don't remember me?
  2. I am a stay-at-home-mother. Many days I love what I do and I am proud that I do it. Some days I don't, and I'm not. Yeled and Yalda are my lives right now. They are the most interesting things in my world. I'm not really convinced that anyone really wants updates of my life on a regular basis- doctor visits, school runs, Mommy and Me, I just don't feel that exciting right now. Comfortable, boring, simple....yes! Exciting, not so much.
  3. This is where I can get myself in trouble- I also feel somewhat apologetic that I'm a SAHM. I know that I shouldn't, but I do. It can be somewhat embarrassing that I have an Ivy-league degree, a law degree, and that I used to work at a top ten law firm, and now- I'm "just at home with the kids".
There, I've said it. Phew.

I'm sure I'll eventually give in to the pressure (even my parents have joined), but for now, I'm happy to stay a little bit anonymous on-line, and I will hopefully keep up my shmoozing off-line.


Maya said...

One very good reason not to facebook is that it's terribly addictive. I've noticed Lots of parents on FB, including my funniest and most entertaining friend, a SAHM who is a former professor and a former national fencing champion, and lots of members of the shul. I'm not saying you should or you shouldn't join. Just that you SHOULDN'T underestimate yourself.

Ima Shalom said...

Spend some timing browsing through on someone else's account. You'll find that most people's status updates--no matter how high power their jobs--are usually something like "Watching tv," "Loves coffee with toast in the morning." etc. Also, the Facebook crowd lives for new pics of your kids.

ilanadavita said...

Only reveal what you wish to reveal. Since my "friends" on Facebook are very different and include former students, I keep private about what information I offer about myself. What's more, you can write to people in such a way that not everyone knows what you say. Check all the options if you do join in.

Lynn Anne said...

Hi! Cringing a little at the 'just stay at home..' comment...we are on facebook and it actually has been nice to reconnect in a sort of at-arms-length-but-not-really way with old school friends and such...but really I came over to ask if you'd mind if I reprint your Shabbat Swoon Soup recipe in our synagogue's newsletter this month? you could email an answer to me at owner (at) jewish-scrapbooking DOT com. Thank you!